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PrettyQueer.com | January 30, 2015

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Baby, One More Time

Baby, One More Time
Bryn Kelly

Have you ever seen an adult baby? If you watch basic cable, there’s a good chance you have. This past Sunday, July 24th, The Learning Channel’s My Strange Addiction featured transgender blogger, techie, entrepreneur and fetish model Riley Kilo, and her interest in the adult baby lifestyle. You can check out the show’s trailer here to get a sense of how it turned out. I caught up with Riley at Nowhere Bar in the East Village and we talked about her love of diapers, Ichi the Killer, her issues with Lady Gaga, and what life is like in this, her sixteenth minute of fame.

PQ: When I got here, you were standing in front of the bar smoking a cigarette. My first thought was, “babies don’t smoke!”

Riley Kilo: I don’t smoke all the time, but I picked it up when I moved to New York City because it’s fucking crazy here. I guess since the TV show, people think that I’m a baby all the time, but I’m just a normal person. I like drinking beer and I like hanging out and I smoke pot. I used to be really involved in drugs in California, and really just kind of “out there.” Working at bars and venues, and being around all these crazy cultures and scenes.

I’m really cute and cuddly, and that’s how I like to express myself, but the more consistent thing I get from other adult babies is like, “Wow, you’re a lot more hardcore and a lot more gangsta than I thought you’d be.” There are definitely parts of my personality that exist from living on the streets in California for a long time.

But at the same time, Riley Kilo, the baby, is almost like, my brass ring of personalities. Like, I wish I could always be Riley Kilo, but, you know, this is a tough world, and you can’t be an adult baby all the time.

I’m kind of hung over, actually.


Right. I understand you hosted a viewing party for the show’s premier at Rattle ‘n Hum bar in Koreatown last night. How did that go?

It was interesting because everyone at the bar was watching it and they knew that I was on the show. When the show was over, I got a round of applause. A couple of very straight people came up to our table, and were like were like, “Hey, that was really cool!” I kind of expected to be torn limb from limb, especially when they talk about the trans part.

The people there were kind of a mix between the bar’s regular crowd, my friends, and random people who showed up from the internet. I went to a My Little Pony convention on Saturday, and I invited somebody from there and they came. Everyone was very positive. It was a very eclectic group.

Why did you decide to go on the show?

TLC contacted me through my website. I’m pretty big on the internet. Essentially, I decided to go on the show because there were other people trying to and they sucked. There were some other people posting on some adult baby forums who just were not positive. I did my episode before the Stanley episode came out…

Stanley?

He was on a show on National Geographic. He’s an older guy, very much overweight, who lives with his mommy/nurse-type person, and he’s on Social Security. A congressperson from New York attacked him and was like, we’ve gotta take this person off Social Security! They’re an adult baby! They eventually sent out people to investigate his case. The adult baby community doesn’t need another Stanley and everyone made that very clear. Incidentally, the woman on the show just recently died, of a heart attack.

There was also this woman, Baby Ella, who was on a show called Secret Lives of Women, and she lost her job. She was a kindergarten teacher. It was a huge mess.

I’m un-fuck-withable. You can’t pull anything with me. I do everything on my own and make all my own money. I’m not on government assistance. I’m not going to lose my job over this. I really think I am at a point in my life where I think I’m never going to get another normal job.

My main goal of this whole thing was to get people to identify with me and feel comfortable around me, as opposed to some of the other TV shows where the people are kind of creepy or weird or overweight — they’re easily targeted or attacked. I just am a normal, friendly person. So I think that resonated with a lot of people.

I knew it was gonna be tough, and I knew it was going to be crazy (and I knew I was going to get paid for it) but at the same time, I put myself out on the internet almost entirely to make something like this happen. Unfortunately, the show sucks and it makes me look bad. But so far, the community as a whole has been like, yeah, that was really great.

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Comments

  1. This is the funniest shit I read all day. Good job on all accounts.

  2. Ollie

    I was really happy to see an article about ageplayers on a queer website…

    but I was decidedly less happy about the sizism; comments about not wanting to be represented by overweight people because that portrays ageplayers negatively are not cool.

    And bashing people who are into watersports as weird and icky, while professing an enjoyment of wet nappies? Hypocritical and unneccessarily judgemental of other people’s kinks.

    • Poison Girl

      This x1000. I had very mixed feelings on this article.

  3. Theresa Wise

    rily i was on my strange addiction as the gas sniffer i was right after your show ty stnding up and taking a stand in what u beleive in I have gotten sum really bad emaisl on FB from sum real ignorant people but i have also gotten more postive feed back then the ignorant ones. thx u Rily for doing the show and god bless you.

  4. Couple things I’d like to say about this article…

    I got out of the drug scene in Cali years ago, and I’m constantly struggling with quitting smoking, that’s the only real addiction I have that still bothers me.

    Stanley is a good guy, and I wanted to make it clear that I don’t have anything against his appearance, I was trying to point out how the media gravitates towards easy targets, like someone not within the stereotypical standards of beauty or on gov. assistance, Stanley is a great guy who has the same motivations I have in regards to building awareness around the AB/DL community. I wanted to point out how societies close-minded view would more likely listen to a skinny, cute, independent white girl than they would someone who has the same mindset but a diffrent appearance. That sucks, because mainstream media sucks. Again, Stanley is cool and I’m cool with Stanley, I came off more abrasive than I intended.

    Ella had worked at a daycare center, and my feelings about Adrian Surley are meant to be private and are based largely in theory and reports from other diapered folks.

    Being trans doesn’t mean you’re into ageplay, and being into ageplay doesn’t mean you’re trans.

    The show was a minor success, when I did this interview I was hungover, smarmy and had my swagger going, I usually come across a little less raunchy and a little more level headed, but at the same time, i’m a pretty radical queer who embraces a character whom is better than the reality of themselves. As Riley Kilo I’ve found peace in my community and actions, where the “real” me is still finding herself in a big scary world full of adversity, temptation and fear, and still has a great deal of learning to do.

    Cloth diapers are cool and I wear them often, and the “pee on my eyebrows” line is from a Kool Keith song. Through my lifes experience I’ve learned not to judge, i’m open to all aspects of kink, and if I’m ok with folks messing their diapers you should know that I’m (like MC Ren) down for whatever.

    -Riley K

    • Ollie

      “I wanted to point out how societies close-minded view would more likely listen to a skinny, cute, independent white girl than they would someone who has the same mindset but a different appearance”

      It felt much more like a perpetuation of that way of thinking than an observation, particularly when you talk about your own privilege being a sort of positive PR….

      The idea that you’re a better voice for issues because people will listen to you because of your whiteness, and your skinniness, and your earning potential… I’ll be honest I find that incredibly messed up, *because* it seems you feel that the only audience to needs to hear your message about tolerance and normalisation of ageplay is also white, independant, skinny and ‘cute’. ‘People’ is being used, in this instance to implicitly mean ‘other white, independant, skinny, cute’ people.

      Given the overwhelming whiteness of the kinky community as a whole, possibly having a person of colour talking about ageplay might have benefited other kinksters of colour, for example.

      This sort of thinking isn’t anywhere near as radical, as you profess it to be. Its incredibly assimilationist, and gets used to deny marginalised people’s rights to speak out on issues. It was (and still, at times, is) used to kick ‘the wrong sort’ out of the gay rights movement, for example… even when the ‘wrong sort’ were the original Stonewall rioters.

      Lastly, I do not find the idea of people trumpetting their own ‘cuteness’ in comparison to others…. particularly when it seems so tied up in the idea of *being* money-making, ablebodied, white and skinny….. There’s nothing wrong with thinking that you’re cute, and being proud of it, but thinking that you’re inherently cuter than other people isn’t a healthy about of self esteem, its decidedly arrogant.

      • visibility is a trap. adult babies should learn to get away with their kinkiness quietly.

        • In general, I’m a big fan of hiding things from the world.

      • Way to beat up on a BABY.

        There are some newborn kittens in my back yard. Maybe you’d like to come over and kick them around, too.

      • lacey

        ollie! yes!!

  5. Really glad Riley and others are getting this out in the open.

  6. Bryn Kelly

    I don’t have a lot to add to this, except to say that it was my impression that Riley certainly means well and has good intentions. Since she is certainly capable of advocating for herself, I’ll leave it at that.

  7. bonk

    um… the reason why diaper play does not make adults who require diapers for medical reasons more comfortable is that they have no choice – it is not costume play. the diaper is not a fashion statement, but required due to a lack of control of bodily functions we are trained to control from an early age – obviously a difficult shame to overcome (and riley herself expresses shame and disgust at fecal matter, etc.). and most all people with such conditions would choose NOT to have that condition – it is not about agency around choices or lifestyle. in the same way an FTM’s pride about his breast reduction does not make a woman who lost her breasts to cancer feel better about her mastectomy, so does riley not make a person with bladder and bowel control issues feel better about their adult diapers.

    ironically, i found the most baby-like thing about riley is her self-advocacy – the whole “i can speak for myself, i can do it myself” attitude, and wanting to be taken seriously from a mature perspective. within the context of baby play, it’s a perfectly poetic moment of childishness – “I AM NOT A BABY!” …which i actually find kinda interesting… kinda. although i’m not convinced this childishness is deliberate (i think she really is into self-advocacy in an “adult” way).

    i *DID* appreciate the clearly spoken “not born this way” transgendered stance. there seems to be little of that on this site.

    and yeah, fuck gaga

  8. That was a super interesting interview! Thanks Riley and Bryn!

  9. Good stuff, Bryn K.

    And I’ve had the same beef mentioned with the “born this way” line of thinking. It comes off as if you’re defending your own bad behavior: “I’m sorry, I can’t help it — I was born this way!” O rly? When people find your lifestyle and identity abhorrent your counter is that you didn’t have a say in the matter? Well I for one choose to be a weirdo, and I think it a fine choice.

    • Theresa Wise

      i dont see whats wrong with any ones life style and how they live hey if your not bothering any one then knock your self out. i wouldnt be ashamed to be friends with people like this thats who they are and thats how they choose to live they r just as good as any one else put on this earth.

  10. Boo hiss on that fat slam bullshit. Big thumbs up for plenty of other stuff.

  11. Jackie

    Riley might not understand this, but the term retarded is just as offensive to mentally disabled people, as the term faggot is to her. Please visit:

    http://www.r-word.org

    Riley, you can’t expect to be accepted, when using language that demeans another group of people.

    • I honestly thought they’d take that out, along with the swear words. I actually thought this article was going to be written about me, not a word for word interview, I was also told I’d have a chance to see it before it was posted just in case I said something obnoxious… which is worse, saying retarded in a empty bar or letting that thing be published? The offensiveness of this article is compelling, I see why it was published without my prior approval. Plus my name/website was spelled totally wrong, honestly, I doubt the author even visited my website or did a moment of research. Not trying to be a dick, Bryn is a nice person etc, just wish she would have followed through a bit more.

      I can’t share this interview with a good portion of my readers, if you go to my site you won’t find anything this crass. I was pretty upset when I saw that got into the article, just a remnant from my schoolyard days that slips out on occasion, usually when I’m nervous, hungover and exhausted. Whoops.

  12. Sage

    I found this completely fascinating. Thanks, Bryn for this.

  13. Anonymous

    I saw the show, and loved what you had to say, and then I read this and saw the lookism and discrimination against people perceived as “creepy” or “weird…” :(
    This shit is never okay.

  14. Hi there, I am a really adult Baby I love my real baby bottle full with milk or breast milk . I sleep in a real Baby crib I wear diaper all the time. I do not smoke or drink beer or stong drink Adult baby is that Baby not adult doing adult thing. Please come talk witha really adult baby and get a really story about adult baby life Thank you Your Diaper Baby friend Jerry scott

  15. kit

    Great article. I am a straight female AB/DL (never could figure out which label fits.) You know, that magical unicorn that supposedly doesn’t exist. I think that there is a wiiiide spectrum of identity/sexuality that the mainstream is just starting to explore.

    I think that there are many more women out there into this but hide deep deep deep underground (like me). I have tried tentative communications online with others like me but I have found that at least straight men have absolutely no discretion. They want to meet “immediately” yet they only want a mommy, not a mutually giving partnership that unfolds in good time. It’s funny that you mention that AB/DL girls are seen as needy/hangers-on–what is it about the pot calling the kettle black?

    Only my therapist knows my innermost “status” if you will. I wish things were different. I stay in hiding for now, but I salute your willingness to make others more accepting and less self-rituous.

  16. Kyle

    This thing was clearly molested at a young age which would explain the baby thing. You are not a she, you were born a he and got your dick cut off, your not a female your a fucked up dude.

    • kit

      What brings you to a site called prettyqueer if you are so “normal”?

    • This is a good example of the hate that comes my way literally everyday, but this isn’t real adversity, this is just petty Internet trolling. Its gotten boring and I don’t even read them anymore, I scan for the word “cut-off ” or “freak” and move on. They almost surely came from a link on my site, this sounds like my usual trolls.

      Something I learned yesterday… the therapist they brought on the show was Aasyia Hassan’s family therapist, that’s kinda interesting, kinda.

      I’ve learned alot about myself since this interview and have grown to love this site, thanks again for having me <3 Check out my site StayKinky.com for more grown up pics/stories from me!

      • kit

        Thanks for putting yourself out there when many of us wouldn’t. No one is “normal”, everyone has something they keep under wraps. Don’t ever feel alone.

  17. sarah

    you’re really pretty…

  18. I’ve said that least 3152332 times. SCK was here

  19. Trisha

    Perhaps I have a really high acceptance for other people’s differences. I would totally make friends with Riley and not judge her at all for the strange behavior. I think it is a self comfort that she is acting out and if its helping her and not hurting others it should just be accepted. I don’t believe in loving people in pieces. When I care about someone it’s every part of them, flaws and all. I have autism. My self comfort is rocking. These behaviors are to combat an inability to deal with anxiety. Showing a person that they are not accepted for differences is hardly going to make a person’s situation better when the behavior is self comfort. Why do we need to judge people or mess with them? Offer open friendship with no judgement and the need for self comfort will become less severe. What is needed here is a bit of common sense instead of just reactive responses. Try to treat people like people.

  20. Trisha

    And for the ignorant. If you take a child development class where the book was written after 2011 you will see that they have found the biological proof with no room for dispute that a person can develop am male brain and a female body (or vice verse). It has to do with the wrong chemicals being sent to the part of the body that develops the sex organs and the chemicals in the brain are not always enough or may be the wrong type. This happens in the second trimester. You are holding on to out dated ideas that not only hurt others but is an advertisement for your ignorance. Gender is formed prior to birth as well as the part of the brain that controls gender functioning. It’s really not that hard to get.

  21. Great blog.Thanks Again. Much obliged.

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